The Nitty Gritty on Nutty


The Nitty Gritty on Nutty

We all have our stories as to why and how we decided to take the health plunge, well this is my story:

I think I will start off by stating that I did not grow up with a healthy lifestyle…um like at all lol. The only point I may have on my side is that I did play outside…I wasn’t much of a TV watcher (and I’m still not ☺). I was enrolled in gymnastics, swimming, and karate but I quit them all. I got bored. I grew up on what every average child from my generation grew up on: unrefined carbs, sugar, and dairy. And, I LOVED my food. I was a binge eater and an emotional eater.

When I was 21, my only brother passed away at the age of 19 of a rare and harsh cancer called Ewing’s Sarcoma. My mother, who always struggled with self happiness in life, was destroyed after this tragedy. She went into a deep depression and really, who can blame her? I couldn’t ever imagine losing a child. A couple years went by. A couple years of me partying and continuing to eat shit that contained next to no nutrients…perhaps this was my “life is too short stage, do what you want and live it” stage, maybe it wasn’t I’m not entirely sure. My mother was still hurting as much as the day that my brother had passed. And one day, I woke up and thought “Omg what am I doing!? I need to take care of myself. If anything happens to me, I do not know what my poor mother will do! I need to make sure I stay healthy, for her.” Now I realized I had NO control over freak accidents or life’s destiny, but I did realize that I could help drastically control MY HEALTH. I mean we hear it ALL the time: Exercise. Eat healthy. Vegetables and fruits help prevent cancer, heart disease, strokes, diabetes and other fatal illnesses. I mean everyone knows that right, it’s DOING it that’s the tricky part.

So, for my mother, I joined a cardio bootcamp and went 2x a week as well as a bosu ball cardio class. I even went to yoga. I ate “healthier” and by “healthier” I mean what everybody usually thinks is healthy. Low fats, Fat-Free, Sugar-Free, 100 calorie pack snacks, tons of fruit, and salads with iceberg lettuce as my “vegetable” intake with a chemical creamy salad dressing. Whole wheat everything, granola bars made of sugar, etc. I was uneducated. I trusted commercials and I believed what dieters told me.

That went on for almost 2 years. During that time, I did lose a bit of weight but I never felt like I did. I also realized a few things. 1) I was an adrenaline junkie. I loved the rush an intense workout gave me. 2) I wasn’t actually “fat” I was in fact bloated, and 3) I was still tired as *#$@ which lead me to think something was up. I thought you were supposed have this endless energy when you are eating right and exercised regularly…what a bunch of BS! I couldn’t get through one day without a nap! And my stomach…why am I and have I always been so uncomfortably bloated!? This is when I decided to do some research. And this is when I decided it was going to be for MYSELF. I wanted this. I wanted to be healthy and happy-for ME.

And, so my journey began. It was long, it was rough, and it was worth it. I remember reading “Skinny Bitch” (awesome, and eye-opening read for those who haven’t read it) and I remember thinking “Pffftt are these girls crazy? I cannot give up my Special K Strawberry bars-it’s the highlight of my day!” Of course, when I think back to that moment now I just chuckle. I studied. I made a huge ass list of things I knew I needed to change to actually be healthy and things I wanted to try changing (to see if it would help my bloat situation). And I tackled that list, one thing at a time. I did NOT move to the next goal until I KNEW I was fully commited to the previous one. Sometimes this meant not taking on a new challenge for over a month! I wanted this lifestyle to last forever, so I needed to do it right.

And here I am. Obsessed with Clean Eating-healthy eating the REAL way. I do not take naps as I do not need them. I sleep like a baby. My hands that I use daily for my career (I’m a Registered Massage Therapist) are no longer swollen or in the beginning stages of arthritis. I know now that I have IBS and am always working on mastering my diet to fit my personal needs due to my condition. It’s been a tough few months with crazy flare-ups and frustrating thoughts of wanting to give up- but I can now say I have never been closer to actually seeing what my stomach has the potential to look like-sans bloat. I will not give up. There is always more to learn and more goals to achieve! I will keep striving one day at a time and I hope you all wish to do the same!

πŸ’If I could, I’d love to thank my brother. Although I did not have that immediate reaction you might think I should have to whip my ass into gear after his death, I got here. And I think of him daily. Maybe if he ate better, he could have been spared, maybe not. I’ll never know. But what I do know is I will do everything in my power to help keep myself and my loved ones happy and healthy!


15 thoughts on “The Nitty Gritty on Nutty

  1. Thank you for sharing your story. You are very inspiring. I am very sorry for the loss of your brother. Ewings Sarcoma is a horrible thing. My husbands little sister passed from the same and he has always wondered if their diet was part of the problem and he has finally succumbed to the ways of eating clean for his health and always tells our kids how their food choices will protect their bodies . Amazing coming from a man who was raised on cheetos, wonder bread and canned tamales. I am so happy that my children realize that sugar and preservative laden treats are actually no treat at all. Good luck on your journey with IBS and in all you do. I wish you peace, heath and happiness πŸ™‚

    • Gina thank you! That is so inspiring to hear about your husband and his 180 in eating habits! I admire parents who raise their children that way and you best believe ill be “that parent” the crazy, healthy, nutty one who “deprives” their children as most of the world would see it lol! You guys are awesome and I look up to your parenting skills and attitudes! Thank you so much for sharing!

  2. My father died at the age of 47 (unknown how in a very corrupt land… which scared the crap out of me) abroad and my cousin died the same year at age 22. I was 18, graduating from school and my mum started a very…unhealthy lifestyle, self medicating with wine.
    I got so sick myself, pneumonia several times, IBS, severe back problems -could barely walk or drive since I couldn’t move my neck and other weird things no doctor could diagnose. I made a choice to live and not die then and there. During these 5 years I’ve dealt with grief, University, a year of depression even though I did not want to admit it to myself, and I stayed away from drinking since my family have a history with alcohol. But I did eat, or work out. Or both. Binge eating, emotional eating… just like you, and this spring it was my final step to admit to myself that I binge and eat when stressed, sad, happy…

    I found you on Instagram and it helped me with new choices. I’m very educated myself but it’s easy to fall into a dull routine when it comes to cooking. I want to say THANK YOU for sharing, and THANK YOU for being honest!

    Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re no longer just helping yourself, but others.

    Good luck with everything in your future. Wish you happiness and health!

    • Yes I can relate to your story all too well! My mother’s wine was rum lol! A lot of ups and downs, as life will always put us through but I’m very glad to hear you made a vow to your health and are determined to stick to it! I’m so thankful I can help others through helping myself…I never would have imagined! Thank you for sharing your story and for your touching compliments! I appreciate it more then you know! Xoxo

  3. Thank you for sharing! I’m sorry for your loss, you are a strong one though! I came across your Instagram recently and love all your clean eating recipes. Last summer I was diagnosed with IBS, a gluten intolerance and even MTHFR ( a genetic mutation) which made sense why I have been so sick and. bloated all my life, and have had digestive problems! I have been eating clean and working out ever since but I am always bloated I’ve tried cutting out everything (eggs, veggies, fruit) but I always look preggo and I’m tiny everywhere else so people are always asking me how far along I am😞 I swear the air I breathe makes me bloated! I’m tempted to see if it goes away after days of eating nothing at all. Anyway you are an inspiration and thank you for putting yourself out there, I’m sure you help so many that watch you from afar!

    • Oh wow that is a lot of crappy diagnoses! I’ve never heard of the genetic mutation one but ill definitely be researching on it now as your story relates to my life perfectly lol! I have been the best with my bloat lately, it seems not so extreme right now until bedtime. I can honestly relate to reactions after breathing air LOL! I often say I’m just allergic to eating! But all jokes aside, it’s a very frustrating process but it does get better…just very slowly! I half assed exercising for almost 2 months awhile back because I was so discouraged. I then realized that I might not be able to control what my stomach looks like…but I can control what the rest of my body looks like! If I’m going to look pregnant, well at least ill look like one FIT pregnant lady!!!! Lets do this!!!

  4. Thank you soo much for sharing your story. Its one i can strongly relate to. It was very inspiring.
    I lost my younger brother too from illness, just seven months 3 days ago. Today would have been his 21st birthday. It is heartbreaking to wonder if healthy eating could have determined life or death.
    I too am battling the bloat, I have celiacs and am lactose intolerant, I think I need to start a Fodmap diet but am finding it all very confronting. (Not to mention I think I’m in the “WTF life is too short stage” of grief)
    I am very inspired by the health and fitness world and hope that one day soon I can find the inner strength and motivation that you have found. I know that’s what my little brother would want..
    Congratulation to you on the progress you’ve made! I love following you on instagram! πŸ™‚

    • I’m sorry to hear about your brother as well! It’s a very frustrating and disheartening tragedy! You will get to a point where you will want to live a full, healthy life and give up the “eff everything, life is too short” attitude! It’s an important stage to go through though so never feel bad about where you are in the present time! Just look forward to the future! πŸ™‚

  5. I found “Skinny Bitch” to be very eye opening…a good cookbook and very informative is “The New Abs Diet Cookbook”. Also a couple of great documentaries are “Hungry For Change”, and “Food Inc.”

  6. Thank you for sharing all of this. You are incredibly inspiring!!!!! I’m very sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. I can’t even imagine. I read Skinny Bitch several years ago. It was a very good book. But then I went back to eating all the regular crap. I’m trying so hard to stick with eating clean. So when I want junk I try and think about the nasty stuff I read.

    • Thank You Susan πŸ™‚ I was the same way when I read Skinny Bitch. It was too overwhelming at first, but I slowly became more and more determined everyday! It definitely takes time so be patient with yourself! πŸ™‚

  7. Hi ‘Nutty’, first off, I just love your IG account! I came to your website to check out your ebook and came across this post. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I love to hear the stories behind people’s inspiration to get healthy. I’m very sorry to hear about your brother and the toll it took on your mom 😦 I can only imagine how hard it was for you to deal with the loss of your brother and your mom’s depression at the same time. Although our stories are slightly different, I can definitely relate to what you have gone through. My sister has suffered with very severe depression in the past (attempted suicide and had to be hospitalized) and my mom passed away from lung cancer almost three years ago at the age of 58. I, too, went through a period after her death of partying a bit too much and not really caring about what I ate because it seemed pointless. My mom was one of the healthiest people I knew – ate well, worked out, never smoked and still got cancer. I’m not going to lie, once in a while, I still struggle with those negative thoughts, but for the most part I have snapped out of it and now try to live the healthiest life possible – as I’ve found eating clean and working out are truly the best medicine to cure a broken heart.

    Anyhoo, sorry for rambling on. The main point of this was to tell you I love your funny posts, your recipes and your positive attitude. You motivate me to stay healthy and happy. So thanks πŸ™‚

    • Lol you are cute! Rambling is one of my fortes so no worries at all girl! I’m glad to hear you have found a healthier way to live and embrace it! It is tough sometimes, but such is life-cant all be easy, that is just boring haha πŸ™‚

      Thank you for following my journey, I appreciate it!

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